Life After Olmec

No other show captivated me with its large stone head, use of Aquasox, and history lessons quite like Legends of the Hidden Temple. I may or may not have required Nick GAS be in my cable plan just so I could relive the pre-teens' endless struggle in the Shrine of the Silver Monkey. Though the perpetual failure of the Purple Parrots and the never-ending fear the temple guards manage stir in me is still present in syndication, I've long wondered what became of the show's animate host, Kirk Fogg who swung into each episode with such fervor and grace.

And now I know. Though with slightly less hair and slightly more facial pudge, there's no doubt that Mr. Fogg (which I can only assume is his real name) is the new face of the Arby's Roast Burger.

For that, good sir, you get a half pendant of life.

Maybe the Past Really Is in the Past

Someone's mama did not get the memo about Chris Brown's most recent headline-stealing controversy. But awww, look at that primordial dwarf.

Beat me once... photo opp!

And the Haylie to Beyonce's Hilary, Solange Knowles is also trying to white wash her slate by promoting MTV's Safe Sex campaign, saying, "[My and Beyonce's] parents did a great job of giving us the real deal Holyfield on sex... I was 13 when my parents first sat me down to discuss sex. And it was a very good age for me."

Right. Because if they hadn't, you could've gotten pregnant at 17, had a quickie wedding in the Bahamas, and gotten divorced before you could legally drink.

Oh, wait...

Celebretweet of the Day

"HOW COME I JUS GOT A NEW PHONE NUMBER AND ITS FUCKIN MILEY CIRUS OLD NUMBER!!! STOP CALLIN ME LIL DAMN GIRLS!!!! TRUE STORY!! NO BS!!"

@liljizzel (aka Lil' Wayne)

I mean, the similarities were endless from the get-go-- starting with their mutual love of photographic ab reveals.

Shared numbers were the obvious next logical step. Look out for MC's tear tat.