Penis Slip Once, Shame On You... Penis Slip Twice, Serious Shame On You

My mother updates me daily on the horrific details of the tainted peanut scandal of 2009-- my personal favorite of which was about a man whose father, a Vietnam War vet, died of Planters-related salmonella. He was apparently paid by Fox News to say something to the effect of, "The VC didn't get my dad; peanuts did."

Somehow, however, she missed this gem when CNN's Zain Verjee told "the most trusted name in new's" audience that some airlines' were making the scandalous decision to add nuts to their snack menus...

Poor Zain. The word "peanuts" is easily confused with "penis," especially considering both could be diseased unbeknownst to those connecting with them orally. However, if this wasn't just a slip of the gutter-minded reporter's tongue, I bet with her two tidbits "Northwest began serving penis this month" and "Georgia is the top penis producing state," we should expect to see a spike Northwest flights to Georgia in the next couple days.

Mr. Penis... I mean... Peanut approved.