Monday, March 30, 2009

Product Placement: The Booze Cruise

Being a fan of something and being able to produce it are two entirely different things. I mean, just because I happen to love soft-serve ice cream slash frozen yogurt (30 minute rides to Dairy Queens in the shadiest of Jersey locales is not outside the boundaries), does not mean I think I can make it-- though this particular SkyMall item does tempt me each and every time I fly. Apologies... I digress.

However, with celebrities branding everything from perfume, to jeans, to hair pieces, and yes, liquor, one would think being a consumer of something apparently qualifies you to brand it, sell it, and add even more money to your already overflowing bank account.

As Diddy is just getting over the controversy surrounding his Ciroc commercials, for which casting allegedly called for "light-skinned Africa-American Beyonce-types," another music industry mogul is dipping his toes into the rocky seas of the hangover-producing industry. Justin Timberlake is bringing us the first images of 901, after the singer's Memphis area code (how novel), which is his new brand of tequila that took two years to perfect. The triple-distilled beverage is crafted from a recipe handed down through three generations in Jalisco, Mexico, where J. Timbs spent oh so many summers stuffing plastic kazoos and whistles into pinatas, I'd assume.

I'm not sure whether it comes blurry and in threes or if this is a simulated effect of what it will look like after you've consumed a many shots of it while sitting pretty at the bar in your William Rast jeans... but ooohhhh how it glows. I'd gather Mr. Timberlake has had some experiences with the drink himself, but there's someone else I trust a little more.

Sure, Danny DeVito appearance on The View might have forever ruined the way I watch Matilda and hear Look Who's Talking Now, but at least we know the man likes to drink via this video evidence. Impressively still heavily intoxicated from a night out with George Clooney, Arnold Schwarzenegger's other half-- errr quarter-- told the audience on that fateful day, "I knew it was the last seven limoncellos that was going to get me." And what did they get him? His own brand of the beverage aptly named, Danny DeVito's Premium Limoncello (aka how Danny DeVito Became Somewhat Famous Again). Two and half years later, here it is folks.

If dogs resemble their owners, why wouldn't bottles of alcohol?

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