I refuse to lie about my pop culture indiscretions. On June 9, 2008 at 7:41 p.m., I downloaded Lady GaGa's "Just Dance." I have since listened to it 66 times. Though GaGa's name stems from the noise we attribute to babies but never actually hear them make, she only owns clothing from American Apparel, and her wig is eerily reminiscent of a female Simple Jack (Simple Jack-ay, if you will), the infectious dance beat of her premiere single coupled with ingeniously relatable lyrics about nights out (a la "Where are my keys? I lost my phone" and "What's the name of this club? I can't remember but it's alright") helped me overlook the aforementioned factors. But now, Miss Ga has crossed the line.
Now, we all remember the look Queen Aretha Franklin used to understandably steal Barack Obama's thunder on Inauguration Day (because he's really such an attention whore), but I'm going to repost anyway because it's just so shiny...
Blink a few times to adjust your eyes to the bedazzlement. You might be asking, "What does this have to do with electropop artist, Lady GaGa?" Well Mom, I'll show you.
Below is the evolution of the Lady in question's locks to the current point of cranial plagiarism.
While the overgrown accessory may be more dull and less old-timey-movie-theater-ushery than Aretha's, Lady GaGa is still walking dangerously close to the line of crazy headgear copyright infringement. She's going to have to quit her use of large bows and bow down to the bitch who started the trend. We'll talk about her theft of the second blind mouse's sunglass collection at a later point.